Kingaroy Veterinary Surgery, QLD
"I cannot lead you into surgery, I do not give you medical advice or administer medications but I can do something else, I can give you my heart and my devotion to these patients and to all the peoples in the South Burnett." - A variation of my slogan has been attributed to Queen Elizabeth II (which is acceptable as she is also a queen), however varying forms of it have been in my family for many a generation.
Job titlePatient Liasion Assistant
My day-to-day task listMy day starts by ensuring the first people to arrive open the surgery correctly - i.e. I should be medicated and fed before anything else is done. This is especially difficult when there are humans waiting outside the door as I find my workers are very easily distracted. Once I have been fed it is bath time, which I have found is best done in my storeroom where the workers are not in my road all the time. At midday it is usually time for my rounds, I come out to make sure all the surgery patients are being adequately monitored in recovery and that the hospital patients are being visited. Late in the afternoons I usually move to my bed at the nurse/vet station and supervise the vets while they write up consults. One of the female vets in particular requires a lot of help with her write-ups so I try to assist her by typing things for her and motivating her (usually a tail to the nose works). Occasionally I will also assist the male vet with bookwork; I know how tedious that can be and he needs all the moral support I can offer. Late in the evening and overnight, it is my responsibility to patrol the surgery, keeping it safe from vermin. My job is 24 hours a day 7 days a week - it's not unheard of for me to be offering comfort to clients and assisting with emergencies well into the night and over the weekend. My colleagues are stupidly surprised that I always know when to appear and when to stay hidden. Many, many times I have comforted a grieving family trying to make a terrible decision. On a lighter note, it is also my duty to help boost the confidence of visiting / locum staff or shy young students by posing with them in their photos for Facebook.
My favourite thingsI quite enjoy a bit of freshly roasted chicken. Of course the nurses are always disgusted when the vets try to give me chicken as they believe I am too overweight and my stomach is too sensitive. Of course I have the vets trained far better, especially the male one. Another favourite activity of mine is to roll on my back in the centre of the office doorway - this is also good for team morale - I find that reminding staff of the good things in life helps them to work more efficiently.
My naughtiest habitI don't have any naughty habits. I find it insulting that you would even suggest such a thing. Naughty habits are a kitten or dog thing; I was never a kitten.
What do my clients think of me?I prefer to think of them as adoring fans and of course they are all besotted with me. I try to make sure they are aware of my prescence, particularly when they are visiting their own family members. And of course they appreciate everything I do, especially when I comfort them by rubbing all over them. My staff can't really understand why I will happily accept clients petting me but won't let the staff pat me, but they are a little slow sometimes - I love them anyway.
Other things you should know about me
I am also up to date with current trends. The staff had the temerity to recently do my teeth (without my consent of course), so I insisted on the haircut you see in the photo. It is of course all the rage with my patient friends.