Alfaxan Possumface Blackhole RVC 2 years
DSH, Black
Ryde Veterinary Clinic, NSW

I made them an offer they couldn't refuse

Job title

THE DON KITTY/International Superstar/Dog Lover

My day-to-day task list

I wake up fellow-cat Eclipse with incessant meowing. I repetitively smack animal attendant on head through bars if my cage is not opened first. Stuff you Eclipse. Guard exit door so I'm first out, of course. Antagonise hospital patients and boarding cats. Look through staff bags for lunch - delicious! Tastier when stolen. Ravaging sealed food bags for sale, mm no kibble is safe from my polyphagia! Beg staff for cuddles. 2 minutes is long enough, 2m 1s = bitey on the face. Next is exerciese, chasing staff down the back stairs of clinic. Bonus points for tripping them. Time for bed and dinner, if nurses aren't quick enough I dive into the food container myself. Losers... What a glorious day. Repeat.

My favourite things

Killing lizards, eating, chasing birds, chasing staff, eating, entering staff cars to prevent staff from leaving (don't leave your windows open), eating, chasing Eclipse, fighting Eclipse, eating, eating, eating, basking in sunlight. Oh yep and eating.

My naughtiest habit

Pretending to love staff and then attacking them for loving me back.

What do my clients think of me?

They don't know I exist. I'm a master of the shadows, enigma of the night. You would be so lucky to see me. Oh I'm also an international superstar with adoring fans from France, China, Taiwan, USA and Sweden.

Other things you should know about me

I will sit for food if so offered, it better be good though...

Feel free to check out my instagram @alfrvc, try not to get too intimidated by my awesome-ness