TREENDALE PET MEDICAL, WA
LONG WAY TO THE TOP
Job titleGINGER ROCK STAR
My day-to-day task listI have strategically positioned myself as Australia’s number one cat and with this comes the daily pressures of running a global social media empire. Facebook, Instagram and Youtube selfies have been diarised into my busy day to facilitate my digital marketing strategy. As the face of Dermcare, I must use my stunning ginger awesomeness to promote skin care products to the owners of less fortunate canine creatures. I’m like one of those super models that promotes skin care products because I have no blemishes. In order to maintain my ginger magnetism to the citizens of the world I have dedicated more time to preening myself in 2017. This grooming and preening takes up a considerable portion of my day. As my brand has grown, I have had to dedicate more and more of my time to photo shoots. In order to maintain my Adonis-like features, chiselled chin, ginger spunk, and shiny coat I have had to increase my sleeping commitments. Despite the long hours of sleeping, my coat is so incredibly radiant that everybody thinks I have ginger fun foils to highlight my hair but I assure you they’re real. I have been promoting how to wear tabby this winter to my peeps including the staff. I am an industry leader in WHAT’S HOT NOW! Just check out my “statement eyes”! The nurses are so impressed with my fashion consciousness that they have forced me to share my secrets on how to look chic in the clinic so each day I volunteer my knowledge and impart various beauty tips to keep my nurses looking sharp. It helps keep me balanced. Giving back to the people I work with brings me a moment of pleasure in my hectic day. My fashionista dress sense and runway ramble is the envy of our nursing team. I make it a point to inspire them towards great personal presentation at work. Intertwined with my hectic schedule of selfies, sleeping and preening, I still manage the core duties of a clinic cat. I eat and dirty my litter tray frequently. After my morning tantrum and emancipation from overnight incarceration, I head outside briefly for some meditation in the sun and to internalise and explore my thought processes and develop my mindfulness. I return to wander the hospital making sure I keep a watchful an eye on our systems. I am responsible for quality control so I rip open bags of retail food for taste testing. I make sure the doors are working by wandering in and out at a leisurely pace. I keep an eye on our customer service by laying around on the reception. My most important duty is to stare at dogs and mind trick them into submission.
My favourite thingsVeterinary nurses are one of my favourite things. I just love those proud cat mammas. I am a sucker for a nurse in uniform. The relationship is one of shared mutual respect. They just can’t get enough of the ginger fluff, which leads me to my next favourite thing…my stunning ginger ensemble. The striped apparel turns heads. I am a seriously good looking cat and I just can’t get enough of my own reflection. I can admire myself for hours on end. I have developed a dependency on Feliway. I love Feliway because I am prone to psychotic mood swings and Feliway just mellows me out, and well, I love it because it’s awesome. The bandana is back – Feliway style. I just love a snort of Feliway from my bandana. I’m sure it will result in world peace. I have also discovered a love for Gabapentin. 100mg of gabapentin and I’m anybodies. You can get blood out of me, clip my nails and even pat me without violent retribution from the red razor-like claws of ginger death. I love winding up dogs. I love to taunt and torment them by sitting just out of reach of their snarling, drooling aggravation. It’s a power trip. I like to stare at them and psychoanalyse them. Total mind domination of canines is a total trip when I get it right. I love my ipawd! I love my social media channels and especially my Youtube channel hosting my rock anthems. I love my cat parodies and jamming with staff to create my “meow mix” of rock videos. Watching myself on my ipawd is better than hunting and keeps me off the streets. I secretly admit to respect for my feline fanatic Dr Rob who mentored me from orphaned feral farm kitten to become national champion. Respect! I recommend every cat gets a human. They make excellent slaves. In 2017 I am loving Dermcare natural shampoo for cats and kittens if you feel brave enough to wash a cat. If you need products for your dog, I am loving Malaseb for yeast and Pyohex for Staph in 2017. Otoflush keeps those stinky dog ears from festering up the house so your cat can eat without feeling nausea from dog malodour. We like to smell our food before we eat it unlike canines.
My naughtiest habitINDUSTRY DISRUPTION IS MY MANTRA. Inappropriate behaviours that set off the dog kennel room into a cacophony of thunderous barking is my FAVOURITE VICE. I love to rip open bags of retail food. Ripping the paper is more fun than eating the food. I am an outrageous showman and “gangster cat”. I develop respect through strength and if I was a human I would be a delinquent teenager with a black heavy metal T-shirt. If you rub me the wrong way, I won’t take a backward step. I am reactional and I wear my heart on my sleeve. If you mess with me, you’ll bleed. I love to take a stinky dump as soon as the nurses provide me with a clean tray. I love dried lamb liver treats. It really messes with my dietary sensitivity however and after hunting down an open box of treats, one of my favourite party tricks involves puking in consult rooms. I do all the usual stuff cats do. I’ll nip you if you don’t feed me on demand. I sleep all day. You’ll never find me if you want me. I get into cupboards and knock everything over. I’ll sleep on your plants and in your pot plants. I’m a carnivore, I don’t do photosynthesis. If it’s comfortable, I’ll sleep on it. Deal with it.
What do my clients think of me?They think I’m purrfect! People just can’t get enough of my ginger awesomeness. Just check out the ginger fluff. I am so fluffy and stunningly handsome that people just want to cuddle me and pet me and hug me and squeeze me. I have followers in the United Kingdom, the United States, Japan, Canada, Ireland, NZ and all around the world. They just love the ginger rock star. My reputation unifies gender, demographic, race and creed. Ginger stripes rule and the people of the world are totally absorbed by the big ginger cat. I am an inspiration to millions of people with my “against the odds” meteoric rise from orphaned feral farm cat facing euthanasia to Australia’s pinnacle with my crowning as Dermcare Clinic Cat of the Year in 2016. I am the people’s cat. Everybody loves an undercat punching above his weight. I have embraced success and the people love me for it. They see me as a leader of hope and possibility. I make people believe they can achieve the impossible. This is what inspires their devotion to me. I am the people’s cat. I have started a revolution…THE GINGER REVOLUTION. The red heads of the world wanted a leader. I reached out to them and inspired and allured them with my glamour and grace. They are staunchly behind my bid to make gingers great in the world.
Other things you should know about me
Vision : To create a dynasty of success as Dermcare’s Clinic cat of the Year by going back to back as Australia’s number one cat.
Mission : To promote feline wellness, gentle animal handling and the highest standards of feline medical treatment using my catlebrity status and so promote cat ownership to a human species crying out for love and companionship.
I will awaken most days just long enough to make a difference
I will be there when you need me at feeding times
I will never take a backward step on feline related issues
I will be fearless in the face of invasion by rodents or moths
I will dominate canids using feline mindfulness and sensory purrception
Social impact : I am a thought leader in feline fear free practice thusly improving veterinary hospital design, gentle animal handling, feline medical protocols and standards globally to improve feline care.
I am a ginger rock star and my on screen performances and rock anthems promote feline awesomeness to the world and inspire millions to adopt a cat.
I started the GINGER REVOLUTION that umbrellas a multi-species approach to red head worship and ginger awesomeness across all species and countries.
Inspired by the great orators of history, I have been working on my speeches. You can catch all the great moments on my youtube channel.
The pressures of my new life were magnified with a move to my new hospital so I started a daily gratitude diary to help me cope with the stress. Every morning I write that I am grateful for my statement eyes, my stunning ginger stripes and my ginger fluff.
I am an “IT CAT”. I was blessed with stunning good looks. I am now a catlebrity A-lister after winning Dermcare Clinic Cat 2016. I used this stardom to kick start a social media following and now I am famous for being famous.
I am committed to SINGLE HANDEDLY BRINGING BACK feline pet ownership as the pet of choice. I am inspired by the Hollywood cats and I have ambition to win a PATSY award (Performing Animal Television Star of the Year) before I pass.
In the last 12 months, I have developed early renal disease as my creatinine has gone to 190 and my urine concentrating capability is declining. I will devote the rest of my life to feline senior health education and the promotion of feline geriatric medicine. My dedicated medical team is determined to get me beyond twenty years of age so follow my blog and social media on my journey into aged care. I will help educate the world’s feline lovers on appropriate feline medical practice.
TRENDING IN 2017 :
Oliver’s Ginger Revolution
Oliver’s rock parodies
The science of feline aging and rejuvenation
Follow my Inspired life here :
Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/therealoliverthecat/
Youtube : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiSl9SucGEdYwbpvpFkdgFw
web : http://www.treendalevet.com.au/