Dermcare Clinic Cat of the Year

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Voting has now closed! Please see the winners of the competition listed here Cat of the Year Winners

Lord Norman 6 years

Champion Shorthair, Black and White and Winner all-over
Toowong Family Vet, QLD

Stacey. Becky. Karen. I'm the reigning champion. You are my PA's, this is what I pay you for. Fill this out for me, yeah? (Ps I'm not paying you)

Job title

Karen! I don't have time for this. I have meetings and a liquid-tuna-lunch at 12. Take care of this. Something about having a trophy and title, yada yada. Make it work.

My clinic duties

Becky. They can't be serious, right? Lie. Just Lie. Tell them I DON'T cure cancer and DIDN'T win the Nobel Peace Prize... Lie.

My favourite things

Lining my litter tray with hundred dollar bills. And being humble.

My naughtiest habit

Stacey, as you know, I'm flawless. Express this is 300 words. Or more. NB: the 'or' is to be disregarded in it's entirety.

What makes me an important part of the team?

"He is our God. Created from the hands of God himself, made from equal parts mythical creature and man of the people, of equal parts beauty and grace. Norman is both the Ying AND the Yang, balancing out the good in the world, with the better in the world, with also the best in the world (it's like a one third, one third, one third kinda thing). It has been said that his fur is made of pure unicorn; his insides of Dom Perignon. The Dalai Lama was once quoted as saying "My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness. And by kindness, I mean Norman'. One look in the eye and all your problems go away. He poops sunshine and farts pure joy. To be around Norman, is to BE Norman. To be Norman, is to be life and love itself. To finish, in essence, aren't we *all* 'Norman'...? (Yes. The answer is Yes)" - written by not me. I mean, not Norman. By a human person that's physically human and not and amazing cat/God.

Other things you should know about me

I hold the National Title of "The Best Freaking Cat in the World" - that's how National Titles work.
Best. In. The. World.
 
Worth noting that title isn't actually up for grabs this year, it's just plain 'Clinic Cat of the Year'. After I won, the trophy, sash and title exploded from awesomeness and being all like, you know, like, "Oh my god, no-one can possibly ever top you or beat you at being the best freaking cat in the world, so let's just explode into, like, a gazillion teeny tiny widdle bits of smaller awesomeness that still, like, totally, can't even match your level of awesomeness so we'll also take it up a notch to cease to exist, allowing you to be the one remaining freaking awesome-est most rad and bodacious everything in the everything... and stuff, so, like, yeah." True story. 

But don't take my word for it. This is a small collection of random, candid testimony from a random selection of people on the streets, and the world:

"Norman? Isn't he the greatest being alive"
- muhammed from bali

"Omg, like, Norman? As in THE Norman? I hear his name and die from happiness..."
- person with eyes and a nose

"I hear that Norman never cries when all the muffins are gone, after eating all the muffins himself..."
- mother to her small child

"He's so deep. Some say he 'bites' people. But, and I'm not meant to share this as it's confidential, do you know that it's a love-bite? As in, he's 'transferring love via his teeth because he uses his teeth to eat and he loves food' kinda love-bite. His teeth are a vessel of love and healing on a global scale"
- dentist (can't show his face on tv)

"Ummm, are you even worthy to utter his name?"
- too many people interviewed that it was impossible to accurately show in numbers

"You know he saves lives, right? Like, he takes his staff's own lunches if they're not nutritionally sound (ie buttery, processed, salty etc), drops them on the ground, rendering them inedible for human consumption, and eats them himself. He's a legit new-age superhero saving us from high cholesterol"
- guy in cape

"I saw an interview with him and that Elon dude, smoking cigars (his was a catnip cigar) and just thought, "This guy is the coolest, most bad-ass guy in the world. Hands down." and I should know"
- dude in crocs

"So innovative. A real visionary. Total gamechanger. True influencer. Much synergy. Much dynamic"
- salesperson

"If we were to ask for one thing in the world, it would be Norman. Oxygen pfft. Water? Who needs it, right? Norman for life. Literally"
- real human person

"I heard that people yell out "You're breathtaking!" to him, like they do to to Keanu Reeves, but in a more 'you're worthy of it' kinda way"
- Keanu Reeves

"BRO. BRO. BRO! BROOOOOOOOOO!"
- chad

"I think you're spelling his name wrong. Norman - G.O.D."
jesus

"My friend heard from her friend that it took George Clooney forever to marry because he was like that heartbroken after Norman left him"
- girl that knows someone that knows someone that knows

"Dude, I saw Norman punch a shark. And a really mean whale"
- surfer dude

"Will NEVER eat here again!!!!!!!!"
- yelp reviewer

Voting has now closed! Please see the winners of the competition listed here Cat of the Year Winner